Wooden Bears!

Bears, bears every where! Steve and I celebrated our 5th anniversary by staying overnight alone (thanks Grandma and Grandpa Hamm for watching our little Bear), in Oakhurst, CA. Oakhurst is the wooden bear capital of the world (according to some).

We saw bears at McDonalds holding fried food.

 

We saw bears at Carl's Jr.

 

We saw bears at Burger King.

 

Bears sleeping.

 

Bears eating.

 

 

Bears by the dozens! 

Today

Today I went up to Kansas City to see the Arabia Steamboat Museum. It was closed for renovations! Bum deal. So instead Jenna and I went the Kansas City Public Library. It comprised 5 stories in a beautiful building with deep, warm colors. It even had Mezzanines!

Upon entering, we found a group of  elementary kids coming to see a puppet show. I thought: "Should we go see the puppet show? Why not!"

We sat down on the second row and all kinds of people came to say 'hi' to us and comment on Jenna's outfit. The room slowly filled up with school kids and families. Especially interesting to me was a group of fashionable moms with little kids (a little older and younger than Jenna). They looked like they were having so much fun!

Jenna was mesmerized by the 30 minute show. Every now and then she would point things out to me but for the most part remained perfectly still and erect on my lap. (To be honest there was one incident when she really wanted some food a toddler was eating behind us...) I was very proud of my little girl.

Afterwards, we went to the fourth floor kid's section and played with some of the kids we had seen earlier. I had a nice chat with some of the moms playing on the floor with their kids. They were so kind and fun (and good moms too). I need to find this in Fresno! I need to find a gaggle of library friends with kids!

Later on I kept running into a dad with 2 little boys. In the parking garage we ended up parking next to eachother. We got to talking. I spoke about traveling and he mentioned that he stays home with the kids while his wife works and he once did what I am doing (I didn't mention that we have gone on at least 6 work trips). I am not sure I have ever met a stay at home dad before! A nice guy too. I wonder what his wife does.

Just a nice morning. Very comfortable.

Year one - check!

I for one am thankful that I made it through the first year of motherhood.

To celebrate this momentus occasion, we invited family to come over. A light dinner followed by dessert. Jenna got her own cake and really got into it. She got a lot of very nice gifts and is quite the spoiled little girl. And she didn't try to take off her hat. Hurrah!

At one year Jenna can:

• Clap
• Wave
• Share
• Drink from a sippy cup
• Stand on her own
• Cruise along things but doesn't walk on her own yet
• Dance to music
• Bring us books to read to her
• Be really vocal but no real words. She has said "mama" and "dada", but they were babbling and hasn't attached a person to them yet
• Can take off her socks really well!
• She likes to hand or show us things
• She has 6 teeth.

My little pumpkin

Last summer we went to the fair and Jenna looked like this:

A year later she looks like this:

 

I love that Jenna is holding up her sock. She likes to hold things up for us to see.

What is home?

I think there are several definitions of home. And that there is a difference between being at home in a dwelling and being at home in a town or city. I live in Fresno, CA. Right now I live in a lovely house that a feels like home. But the town still feels foreign to me. I feel like I am a visitor in a strange place. I don't belong in Fresno. We have been here 1 1/2 years. We have acquaintances and I know where all of the shopping should be done. There is family, which is perhaps the only redeemable thing about this town. And yet...

I used to live in Provo, UT. At first I didn't belong there, but at the end of seven years I knew I did. What changed? How did Provo become my home? It wasn't a perfect place. It didn't fit my ideal of what a perfect city/town should be (there was snow afterall), but it felt like home.

I think a city becomes your home when you are comfortable there. When you have a nitch and are included. Here in Fresno, there are a lot of very nice people who have tried to include me. Yet I resist. I don't want Fresno to be the place we stay forever. I don't want to be stuck in this hot, dirty, poor place.

In a perfect world I would live near the ocean. I feel at home next to an ocean. The waves speak to my soul and sooth me. I could live in a lighthouse on the outskirts of a small village and I would be perfectly happy (I think).

However, this imperfect world has deemed that I will live in a desert for an indeterminate period of time. How long will we be here? Four more years? Four more decades? Forever?

I need to accept that Fresno needs to be my home. Maybe now that I have accepted that I need to accept Fresno, I can. Oh, but it is so hard!

Thoughts on Burial

I was in Monterey, CA last week. I took a walk every day. One day, I went to a well maintained cemetery with a lot of mausoleums. I mean a LOT. There were several rows of mausoleums. I had never seen a mausoleum before and the sight stunned me. I had just walked past hundreds of modest graves, only plaques in the ground. And now here were some people had the audacity to make themselves more important by building themselves a building. Why did they do this? Do they think that they will they be more remembered, that they will be more important because they built themselves a shrine? Even in death there is a competition about whose graves markers will be the best. "I am richer than you, and therefore I am more important because I can build myself a building." Is that what this was about? I have been into the crypts of lords and kings. I am used to them parading themselves before the world. They feel like they earned it. Okay, I get that. It is tradition. But having a normal, common man do this? I was astounded.

As I continued my walk, my thoughts turned to family. There were several heart shaped headstones with places for two people and only one person was there (and the first one died 60 years ago so that wasn't the reason there was only one person). How lonely. It would be more friendly, more comforting, to know that your body lies with the bodies of your family members. Is that why people build mausoleums? To ensure that they will be buried with their family?

Maybe the mausoleums I saw last week were the result of pride. But maybe, and I hope this is true, just maybe, they want to be with their families in death. We don't all have the eternal perspective and hope the Gospel brings concerning eternal families. In the end, seeing the mausoleums made me appreciate that I have been sealed to my family for eternity. I know that it doesn't matter where we are buried. We can get lost at sea or die on Everest (I read "Into Thin Air" recently) or die in our beds, but no matter where we die, we will be together forever.

Buddy: A Tribute to a Very Good Dog

Our dog Buddy is gone. We had to put him down a few weeks ago. Luckily we were forewarned and I was able to have a last week to say "good-bye."

I am mixed on how I feel. I was sad to see him go, but now that I am through the mourning process, I am actually kind of glad. No more hair and no more dog chores on my plate. I now have more time to get things done. And I don't have to feel guilty when he follows me around the house. I don't have to feel bad that I'm not giving him attention when I want to get something done while the baby sleeps.

But he was a very good boy and was a comfort at night when Steve was gone (and Steve is gone a lot for work). Buddy got so excited for simple things. And when I was crying because I didn't want him to have to go, he comforted me by sitting on (not at) my feet.

Do I want another dog? I don't know. I just don't know.

He could eat a rawhide bone from Costco in about 20 minutes.

He was a big dog that liked small spaces.

"Oh, please can I have it? I'm a good boy."

Sitting at our feet while we watch General Conference.

"I love my rope toy."

He was a very patient dog.

What is going on here?

"Helping" me vacuum.

Loyal to "Master".